Youth & Aspirations
I want to be a musician.
I want to become a successful model.
I want to become an awesome cricketer.
I think I have quality of being a good theatre actor.
But I think am happier being a couch potato right now. I have plenty of time left to start working on my “dream”.
I am fat. I want to become slim.
I want to have an awesome ass. I want to have flat belly and zero figure!
But I don’t get time for exercise. I have quite some time for Facebook, Twitter, Instagram though. I must periodically check likes, follows and comments I have got.
I want to start a business of my interest because I think I’ll be good at it.
But I am waiting for an investor who is ready to provide huge investment for my business. I don’t believe in “Start with a small step” thing.
Nowadays I’m realizing that this is not what I really love. This is not what I wanted. I want to change my career.
But too much time has passed now. Though I’m in mid-20s, I think it’s too late.
I want to become a writer. I can be good at it. I have good perception and imagination about things and the world around me.
But there are so many writers out there in the world. Will the world care for one more? I’ll be just an iota in the sea, unnoticed forever. So I’ll just sit and follow my ultra-exciting routine.
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Fears
I feel bad that I’ve hurt people. I regret things I’ve done and words I’ve said in the past. I should really call them and say sorry.
But it’s too late to do so. I’m afraid they won’t accept the apology.
I know I’m damn right about the work I’ve done. Boss is mad about it though and not ready to accept it.
But I’m too afraid to stand up for it. I’m afraid he might fire me. I’ll put my tail in between my legs like a dog and keep listening to shit he says.
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Love
I was about to get really intimate with the person I love the most, even the person was ready.
But I am too righteous and being an Indian, I think it’s wrong to do it before marriage. What will my friends think? They’ll judge me. And I’m also sure(?) that I’ll make sure she is the one I’ll be marrying. So I can wait.
I love the person a lot. It’s been couple of years since we are together.
But now I think I won’t be able to marry the person. Our family is too traditional and I can’t break my parents’ hearts. I don’t have courage to stand for I what I really want and love.
Kids are settled now. We’re getting old. I want to spend some good time with wife. Want to go roam around the world and visit some good places we had dreamt of in our youth.
But who will take care of the grandchildren if we aren’t around? Son and his wife will feel bad. They don’t get time because of their job. I think it’s yet another responsibility for us. We’ll find time for us later.
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Family
I want to spend some family time with parents and siblings.
But the laptop, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube the music and all have become my life. I’m addicted to them. I don’t get time for anything else.
My pet is sick since couple of days. I want to take it to a vet.
But I’m tightly glued this awesome TV series I’m currently watching.
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Parenting
I want to become a good father. Give more time to children.
But I need to constantly slog and fight for my promotion in the office. Have to work hard. Children can wait I think.
I want to be a good mother.
But I’m too short-tempered to withhold myself from beating the kid every time he/she creates some nuisance.
I just became father of baby girl. I’m happy. Wished it was a son.
But “that’s ok. Girl is good too.” There is always second chance.
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Society
I’m in my 60s. My spouse is dead. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone and be deprived of love and care I deserve. I should seek a partner with same interests.
But it’s too late. What will the society say? People will start pointing fingers at me.
I love public transport. The buses, the locals and the people in them. I find them whole thing entertaining.
But I am coming to office by in C-Class since a long time. People will talk things behind my back. I can’t do it.
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The Social Thing & Humanity
I want to do some social service and give back to society. It will give me happiness and peace.
But I’ll do that when I’m in my 40s i.e. when I’m completely settled. Because I’m so sure that I’ll have time by then and also I’ll be alive.
A poor, homeless guy just slipped and fell on the side of road and he, for sure, needs a helping hand.
But, I think my “social” status is too high to do so. Also he looks so ugly, dirty and unhygienic. I’ll move on.
The girl was raped brutally and thrown on the road like a banana peel. I passed by her.
But I was too apathetic or I thought I should act like one. Because I didn’t want to get involved in unnecessary and annoying police inquiries. Also, I think I will wait for my sister to get raped. Then only my balls will be shaken.
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Life
I have failed at times.
But it was not my fault. “I think” I gave my best. Circumstances weren’t good. Luck didn’t favor me.
Life gave me lemons.
But I failed to make lemonade out of it, because I never tried to.
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Do these sound familiar to you? Or you have been through fancier versions of these?
Are you still trapped in the never ending perimeter of the ‘but’ circle?
Find a way out. Sooner the better.
ekplatepanipuri 